Family of birth and family of choice is so nourishing to me.  Connecting to my history through stories of “the Blonde Bomber” and my Grandma Ruthie and Grandpa Jack inspires me because I can see a little bit of myself and my siblings through that lens. I love to know how sweet one grandmother was, how feisty another, and what a gambler of a businessman my grandfather was.

The hugs of my parents heal me.

The hugs of my niece and nephew will, too.

And to reconnect with my sister and her stories–to be part of her life for a few days–that will be healing, too.

I am blessed with a wonderful, big family full of love, but even if your birth family does not provide the nurturance you seek, we can always choose a family as we grow. My family of choice contains magical sisters and doting godmothers and people who love me because they choose to. How wonderful! To be loved for who I am and also just because I am.

To be this blessed with love is healing, indeed.

“Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back– Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth that ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.”
–William Hutchinson Murray, mountaineer. 

This quote is often misattributed to Goethe, and some versions even have Murray misattributing  a quote to Goethe inside his moving words. Irregardless of the writer, I hope you find some idea or action worth committing to and begin it now.

Thich Nhat Hanh

This week’s book recommendation is by a favorite author of mine, Thich Nhat Hanh.  A Vietnamese monk who was exiled because he would not take sides during the war, he has written several books about his style of socially engaged Buddhism. This practice brings mindfulness into every activity of the day and reminds us to enjoy every breath. He was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Martin Luther King, Jr.

The book, True Love: A Practice for Awakening the Heart, is a slender 104 pages and written in very simple but profound language. In it, he defines love somewhat unconventionally. He writes that love is presence–full and true presence–to the loved one.  It is my hope to someday be fully present to every being I meet.

Another of my favorite parts of this sweet little book are the four mantras he suggests to say to your loved one so that he or she will know what you are feeling. 

A small, powerful path to greater love

They are plain and true and work miracles to open hearts. The first is simply, “Dear one, I am here for you.” After that, he teaches the second, “Dear one, I know that you are here, and it makes me very happy.” And now, so easily, I have told my beloved that I am here for him and let him know that I see him and how happy I am that he is here.

The third and fourth mantras are for those times when conflict or suffering arises.  I think that those times would be so much easier if we used these statements: “Dear one, I know that you are suffering, that is why I am here for you.” and “Dear one, I am suffering. Please help.” I know that sometimes I am hurting, and I do not want my pain to hurt my partner.  Instead of lashing out, I can let my partner know I am suffering and together we can find a way to soothe me. Or I can offer to help to soothe him. I believe these simple phrases, said with an open heart and conscious mind, can bring miracles.

Easily found on amazon.com at:

http://www.amazon.com/True-Love-Practice-Awakening-Heart/dp/1590304047/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1267757223&sr=8-1

Wishing you an awakening of love in your heart!

I’ve also learned that I have a little bit of skin worth having a dermatologist take a look at.  It might be the usual culprit for us fair-skinned sun-lovers, or it might be nothing.  One doctor feels pretty sure it is one; the other the other.  Either way, it should be easy to take care of.

Over time, I’ve learned to hold information that doctors offer lightly.  Originally, I took doctors very seriously and would become anxious about their prognostications and do lots of research about their diagnoses.  Now I realize that they are not always correct and that it does not serve me to get upset over what they say.

Additionally, even when they are correct, there are paths to healing, and there is always hope. I choose hope; I choose love; I choose life.  I feel frightened when we talk about new possibilities that may be challenging, and then I use that energy to find a new solution. It feels much better than being a victim of limitations and illness.

All in all, I continue to feel well and to celebrate more and more energy and strength. I am so grateful for the gift of my body!

Steve Audretch, peacemaker, author, and lupus survivor

Sidelined by Lupus (SLE)  from his career in industrial engineering, my dad has decided to dedicate his life to peacemaking. He has written a book called Jesus Was a Pacifist. He notes all the places in the Bible where Jesus advocates peace, even until His death:

http://jesuswasapacifist.com/

Dad does his best with Lupus, but sometimes he chops too much wood for the fires he makes and his hands swell up. He also needs more rest than he used to. Mostly, he gives his time in service to others and living his ideas of peace.

He taught me to give my life to peace and to be willing to live (or die) for what I most deeply believe in.

This is a very simple gift to give yourself. Start with 1 minute or perhaps 2. When you are ready to try–5 minutes, 10 minutes, and 20 minutes are wonderful experiences.

I spend 20 minutes each morning tuning into the miracle of my breath. I do not try to change it. I just notice it.

I notice that I inhale cooler air than I exhale. (The air has warmed inside my body!) I notice if my inhale is longer or my exhale. I notice the still point between my inhale and exhale. I notice if my breath wants to slow down as I continue breathing.

I also notice my thoughts. I notice observations I make about my life, and then I let the observation go. I notice a fear, and then I let the fear go. I notice an idea of how to make my day easier, and then I let the idea go. I do not try to control my thoughts. I just let them go.

And sometimes I experience the bliss of stillness. I just breathe and smile. I am fully present. I am conscious. I am free.

I find that the GERD is a little bit more expressive now that I’m in a time of uncertainty as my partner is a free agent. Oh, the places we’ll go!

It’s also been reported to me that my back is tense.  I’m fairly sure it’s not tense (the twice a day meditation, daily warm bath and repeated muscle relaxations would tend to soothe that) but that I’m still recovering from lupus’s attack on the muscle and scleroderma’s tightening of same.

All in all, I am in awe of my progress in energy and sass and looking forward to what the next week will bring!

This woman really cares about making sure that people know about and support people with autoimmune illness.

Mary J. Shomon is one of the first authors I “met” on my journey with chronic autoimmune illness. A patient advocate and author, she began with a focus on the thyroid dis-ease and then realized that all autoimmune illnesses are underreported and undersupported.  This led her to write Living Well with Autoimmune Illness, as well as several other books in the Living Well series, available on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Living-Well-Autoimmune-Disease-You-That/dp/0060938196/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1266949011&sr=1-1#noop 

A Very Useful Guide with Information on Many Autoimmune Illnesses and Lots of Helpful Tips

She provides helpful information and that much-needed “I’m not alone! I’m not crazy!” message that people whose illnesses are not well-known and invisible often do not hear.  

Today I pause to thank Mary for not giving up when diagnosed.  Instead, she chose a path of courage and to use her voice to serve the needs of others.  Her books are inspirations for many, including me! I appreciate being able to relate to my friends more easily by looking up the diagnosis they’re coping with, and I appreciate the many helpful tips that make my life easier! 

Thank you for choosing to transform your health struggle into empowerment for the 50 million Americans living with autoimmune illness!

I find it relieves migraines and also helps me to relax more deeply.  Youtube offers a video showing how to use one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGCRpUgJWfo

If you’d prefer to create your own, place two tennis balls into a clean tube sock and voila!  Twice a day for about 15 minutes is what my physical therapist recommends. I like to meditate or listen to soft music while I allow my body to return to its natural state of relaxation.

My current image for my life is a pyramid:

beautiful blue base supports a steady focus

I need to have a really solid base–a steady daily routine of self-care to nurture my body, mind, and soul and to assure that I have available to me as much energy as possible.

These days, my base includes exercise, plenty of water, healthful food, rest, and meditation.

Once my base is secure, like Maslow I’m ready to move up to meet needs that are more about luxury than survival.  Time with friends, family, and books fit into this category, nourishing my mind and heart.

My final laser focus, supported by all the rest, is to live out my life’s mission:  to radiate peace, joy, and love to others for the healing of the world.  Once my body, mind, and spirit are well-cared-for, I have the energy to write, to teach, and to coach.

Lately I’ve been overly tired.  My base is not supporting the life I want to live.  I’m looking forward to finding the solution–is it a return to acupuncture, more blood tests, deeper prayer?–and returning to my energetic self.

For now, I’ll stay on my current path of surrender to what is.  With full faith and trust, I know that balance is on its way to me, and I’ll be more energetic when the time is right.   And so it is.